


I'll Be Home for Christmas

by haey1



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Wordcount: 10.000-30.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:07:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27992742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haey1/pseuds/haey1
Summary: Sirius was dancing to his Christmas record, mouthing the words to Santa Baby ridiculously. He held a hand out to Remus,Think of all the fun I’ve missedThink of all the fellas that I haven’t kissedReluctantly, Remus stood up and started dancing with Sirius. Sirius grabbed his hands and swung them around liberally. Occasionally, even spinning Remus, who begrudgingly obliged, (though he was secretly having the time of his life). They kept their eyes on each other with smiles on their lips.-Sirius and Remus spend Christmas together at Hogwarts
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 10
Kudos: 110





	1. Fifth Year

The first year Remus and Sirius spent together was their 5th year. They both stayed at Hogwarts over the break - Sirius, as a way to both escape and piss off his family, and Remus because the full moon fell on the 21st. James had made it very clear that both Remus and Sirius were more than welcome to stay at the Potters, but Dumbledore had forbidden Remus from going, and Sirius was intent on not letting Remus celebrate Christmas alone.

Sirius and Remus had gone down to the train to see their friends off. The snow was starting to fall and the grass was gaining a sprinkle of white. As the Hogwarts Express took off down the tracks, Sirius turned to Remus with a wild smile, “Race you back to the castle?”

Remus looked at Sirius with the snow caught in his dark hair like stars and nodded his head. Before he could even say go, Sirius had started sprinting off in the direction of Hogwarts. “That’s cheating, you bastard!” Remus yelled with a smile and took off after him. 

They ran fast across the grounds, ignoring the yells of other students and the disapproving looks of teachers. As they passed the bridge over the Great Lake, Remus had finally caught up with Sirius, who was looking quite winded. “You aren’t giving up that easily, are you?” Remus teased.

Sirius looked over at him and said, “You wish,” before shoving Remus into the grass and regaining his speed.

“Cheater!” Remus called and got himself up. Sirius was heading to the courtyard and the grand doors that led into the castle. There was no way Remus could beat him now, but then he remembered a secret passage he'd mapped a few months ago. 

Remus took a hard left, climbed through the set of bushes with only gaining a few scraps, and started up the stairs. It was a long climb to the Common Room, but Remus was determined to get there before Sirius. When he finally reached the top of the stairs, he was let out behind one of the grand tapestries in the Common Room.

A fire was already lit and the house-elves had done a marvelous job of decorating for the holidays. There was garland, a large Christmas tree, a menorah on one of the tables, and even a few discreetly placed mistletoes. Remus collapsed onto one of the long couches by the fire and caught his breath. As he relaxed, the portrait hole swung open and Sirius came barreling in and heading straight for the stairs to their dorm.

“Going somewhere?” Remus called to him.

Sirius spun around incredulously, “How!” he shouted, “that’s not even physically possible.”

“What can I say, Pads? I guess I’m just faster than you are.”

Sirius moved towards Remus’ couch and gestured for him to lift his legs. He sat down at the edge of the couch and let Remus rest his legs in his lap. Sirius had always been pretty touchy, but recently, especially around Remus, he seemed to always seek out his physical touch in some way. 

Once Sirius caught his breath, he looked over at Remus, “No, really. How’d you do it?”

“You should know better than to challenge the architect of the Marauders Map to a race in Hogwarts.”

“Ugh, I really should. You’re much too smart for me.” The compliment warmed Remus and he shot Sirius a smile. “What entrance was it? The one under the bridge?”

“The bushes outside the tower,” Remus said.

“You climbed all those stairs?” Sirius’ eyes were wide.

Remus flashed him a smile, “Well, I had to beat you somehow.”

At that moment, the portrait hole swung open and two third-year girls came in. They looked absolutely frigid from being outside. Remus gave them a wave. 

“Hey Millie,” Remus said to one of the girls. Remus had seen her studying in the library and he had helped her with a History of the Magic essay once.

The girls came over to stand by the fire. “Hey, Remus,” Millie responded.

“Damn, Moony. You know everyone at this school.”

Remus shrugged, slightly embarrassed, “Not everyone.”

“I’m Millie,” the girl said to Sirius, a bit nervous. “I’m a third-year.”

He flashed her the famous Sirius Black smile, “Nice to meet you. I’m Sirius.”

“Oh, I know,” Millie said with a bit of giggle. 

Her friend appeared beside her, “Can we go upstairs? My socks are soaked and I wanna change.” Millie made a face that made it clear the last thing she wanted to do was leave, but she relented. As the girls walked away, Remus could hear giggling, shushing, and something that sounded suspiciously like, “I can’t believe he talked to me!”

“I think they have a crush on you,” Remus said with slight amusement.

“Really?” Sirius said, completely oblivious, “I hadn’t noticed.”

“Are you kidding? She was totally enamored with you.”

“Oh. Well, I hope she doesn’t get her hopes up.”

“Come on, Pads. Why not? Millie’s a lovely girl,” Remus said, though not because he wanted them to get together. It was fun to make the ever-confident Sirius Black squirm.

“She’s a third-year, Moony. Ew.” 

“Oh, I don’t know. I think she’s quite cute.”

Sirius took a pillow and threw it in Remus’ face.

“I’m joking, I’m joking. I wouldn’t dare to think Hogwart’s biggest flirt would ever settle down.”

“I’m not that much of a flirt,” Sirius grumbled.

“Really? What about Marlene McKinnon? Or Mary McDonald? Or those Sixth Years from the study group? Or the quiet girl from potions?”

“Alright, I get it.”

“Don’t forget Lily fucking Evans. In front of James, no less.”

“Well, that was hilarious.”

“Even funnier that she flirted back.”

“James was so pissed. He didn’t talk to me for a week.”

“And we call you the dramatic one.”

Sirius let out a light laugh and a comfortable silence overtook them. Outside, the snow was really starting to come down. It would certainly leave more than a few inches and make all the window panes frigid. Inside though, Remus was warm as ever as the fire crackled in front of them and Sirius’ hands rested by his ankles.

“Why do you flirt with all those girls?” Remus asked. “You never go on more than a few dates with them.”

Sirius sighed, “It’s all just a bit of fun, Moony.”

“Yeah, but don’t think you should at least try at a relationship.”

Sirius looked over at Remus. Cool blue eyes met Remus’ and silenced all other thoughts in his head. “I don’t want any of those girls. They don’t matter to me.”

Sirius went back to staring in the fire and Remus summoned himself a book and that was that.

-

Dinner at the Great Hall was remarkably small. Remus began to miss the overwhelming chatter that it normally contained during the school year. Now there were just a few dozen people, scattered around at different tables. No one was really paying the house distinctions any mind. Sirius and Remus sat with Greta Catchlove, a friendly Hufflepuff in their year whose family had been away on some culinary expedition in the Swiss mountains, and Hufflepuff Tilden Toots who was well known as the school’s resident weed dealer. 

Remus and Sirius were listening politely as Greta went into excruciating detail about the difference between aged cheeses and while Remus actually found it quite interesting, Sirius was restless to speak about literally anything else. As Greta chattered on, Sirius had started bouncing his leg incessantly. Remus, without looking over at him, put his hand on his knee which seemed to quiet him down quite a bit. Tilden was apparently so high, he didn’t seem to mind any of this. Occasionally, he would even prompt Greta along with a, “really?” and then return to staring at the flickering candles on the table.

After dinner, Sirius told him not to wait up and Remus saw him approach Tilden with a few sickles. As they readied themselves for bed that night, Sirius put on a record. He had amassed quite a collection between gifts from friends and “borrowing” from Remus. He put on a Christmas album and Frank Sinatra’s smooth voice filled the air.

_I’m dreaming of a White Christmas  
_

_Just like the ones I used to know._

“Hey Moony,” Sirius called, “I got some weed from Tilden if you wanna smoke.”

“How did I know that’s what you were doing?”

“Because there’s no other reason in this world I would be talking to him.”

Remus laughed, and then said, “Don’t be rude. He’s the one getting us this stuff. We can’t upset him.”

Sirius had moved towards the window and cracked it open. Though their roommates were gone, they still didn’t want the house-elves smelling it and telling McGonagall.

“Yeah, because everyone knows anyone else's shit is terrible.” 

Remus moved to sit on the windowsill across from Sirius. He brought a blanket and wrapped it around himself. The window wasn’t quite big enough for the two of them and their legs crossed over each other in the middle. Remus didn’t complain though.

Sirius grinded the weed and rolled it up on his bedside table to form a joint. Sirius placed it between his lips and Remus took out his wand to light its tip. Sirius breathed in and breathed out a swirl of smoke between them that floated up in beautiful patterns. He passed it to Remus who did the same. 

Sinatra’s voice rang out from the record player.

_May your days be merry and bright  
And may all your Christmases be white._

“I would kill to have a voice like his,” Remus said.

“Stop smoking and just might,” Sirius said through a puff of smoke.

Remus stuck out his tongue at him. “Frank Sinatra smokes like a pack of cigarettes a day.”

“Well, I guess you’re just untalented then,” Sirius responded with a grin.

Remus gave him a good-natured kick and took a drag of the joint before handing it back to Sirius. They sat like this for a while, watching the snowfall and pile up on the rooftops and watching the smoke turn the room hazy. Out in the sky, the faint glow of the almost full moon glowed behind the clouds.

“Are you scared for tomorrow?” Sirius asked him.

“Nah,” Remus responded easily, “You’ll be there, won’t you?”

“Yeah, I’ll be there.”

Remus gave him a smile which Sirius returned easily.

-

The full moon did make Remus nervous. The Marauders had only become animagi two moons ago, and Remus still wasn’t completely confident he wouldn’t hurt them. Especially now, with it just being Padfoot and him. But Sirius had assured him that the wolf posed no threat, that if anything, Padfoot and the Wolf were friends.

Still, as Remus walked through the Weeping Willow and settled in for another freezing night in the Shrieking Shack, he couldn’t help but worry.

“Calm down,” Sirius said as soon as Madam Pomfrey left, “I can practically feel your nerves from here.”

“I don’t want to hurt you, Pads.”

Sirius came up behind him and started massaging his shoulders. Remus’ muscles always ached before the full moon, “and you won’t. I’m telling you. The wolf and I are great pals. It wouldn’t do anything to hurt me,” Sirius spun Remus around so that he was facing him, “just like you wouldn’t do anything to hurt me.”

Remus stared at him. They were so close and it was still so cold that he could see Sirius’ breath. Remus wanted to reach out, to close the gap between them and kiss those chapped lips of his. But even if he could summon the courage, now was not the time. Remus just gave Sirius a slight smile and Sirius pulled him into a tight hug.

“You have nothing to fear, Remus. I’ll be here when you wake up, okay?”

Remus nodded and Sirius transformed into Padfoot. Remus sat down and started petting him. Sometimes it was easier like this, with Sirius in dog form. He didn’t overthink things. Remus shed some of his clothes and carefully folded them on the bed. At once, the moon came into its full rise and the painful transformation began.

\- 

Remus came to on the ground of the Shrieking Shack. Every bone in his body ached in pain and the sides of his vision were blurry and unfocused. He could see blood on the ground around him, but he couldn’t tell if it was his blood or… He didn’t even want to think about other possibilities. He tried to sit up but found his left shoulder was not going to move, dislocated in the transformation probably.

Across the room he saw Padfoot, sitting warily in dog form, watched to see Remus’ next move. Remus stuck out his good arm and made a very slight come here gesture. Padfoot nodded and walked quietly across the floor. He laid down beside Remus as Remus wrapped his arm around the soft creature. He slowly petted his soft fur and fell asleep.

When he woke up again, he was in the hospital wing. Sirius was reading one of his muggle books in a chair beside him with his feet propped up on Remus’ bed. The hospital wing was unusually quiet since most of the students were home at this time of year. Normally Madam Pomfrey loathed visitors, but sometime during their fourth year she began to realize how the Marauders brightened his spirits and she always let at least one of them in, (though the rest of them were inclined to sneak in any way).

“Hey,” Remus said and then winced at how raspy his voice sounded. He had howled it away the night before.

Sirius looked up with a soft smile, the kind he only gave Remus after moons, and said, “Good morning, Sunshine. How are you feeling?”

Remus took stock of his body. His bones were still sore though nowhere near as bad as earlier. His shoulder seemed to be fixed. It didn’t feel like there were any new cuts. As far as moons go, not terrible. 

“I’m alright,” he said, “sore.”

“You know the drill, Moony. Take the potions, rest, don’t push yourself, etc.”

“Since when did you become Madam Pomfrey?”

“Since my best friend found a way to wind up in the hospital every month.”

At this point, the real Madam Pomfrey pushed aside Remus’ curtains. “Oh, good. You’re awake. Mr. Black, can you go to the kitchens and grab some food for Mr. Lupin here? I have to ask him some questions.”

“Of course, my darling,” he said to her, causing both Remus and Madam Pomfrey to roll their eyes. Sirius Black’s flirting with the matron began sometime in their third year and has continued despite her constant rejection.

Madam Pomfrey began her relentless questioning on Remus’ physical state, checked his shoulder, and forced a million different potions down his throat. She was thankfully gone by the time Sirius arrived precariously carrying a massive plate of roast turkey, Yorkshire pudding, and mince pies. Together they ate at Remus’ bedside and once they were sure Pomfrey wouldn’t come to visit again, Sirius cast a muffliato.

“So what happened last night?” Remus asked casually as if yesterday was just any other Tuesday night.

“It was amazing, Moony,” Sirius responded. “You led us to this absolutely beautiful pond with these gorgeous white rocks we jumped on. All the moss glowed this vibrant blue and there were pixies everywhere. The wolf seemed to really enjoy watching them. They didn’t pay us any mind though. They were too busy messing with this centaur who came by."

Remus smiled at this, trying to picture the woods in his mind.

“Then, the wolf and I just played in the pond. We splashed around a bit and played tug of war on some old branch. The wolf seemed to tire out after that and just laid on the bank by the pond. He just sort of relaxed there for a while.”

“That sounds beautiful,” Remus said, almost wishing he could remember it.

“It was, Moony. It really was.”

Then Remus remembered the state of the shack when he woke up, “But there was all that blood on the ground when I came to?”

“Oh, the wolf was chasing a rabbit. He brought it back to the shack.”

Remus winced. He hated hurting creatures, much less killing them.

Sirius grabbed his hand then, “Still Remus, it was a great night.”

Remus looked at their entwined hands and back to Sirius, giving him a gentle smile. At this point, Pomfrey came in and Sirius withdrew his hand.

“Alright boys, you’re free to go back to your dorm, but you must get some rest. I mean it Mr. Black. I don’t want to hear about any mischief for the next 24 hours.”

Sirius bowed to Madam Pomfrey, “Your wish is my command.”

Sirius helped Remus up and they slowly walked back to their dormitory, Remus slightly limping along the way.

“Does it hurt?” Sirius asked.

“Just the normal amount.”

Sirius rolled his eyes, “always the trooper, you are.” Sirius reached over and ruffled Remus’ hair, which is no easy feat for a boy several inches shorter than the other.

When they finally reached the dorm, Sirius collapsed into his bed as if he hadn’t slept in weeks. He got under covers, still in his clothes from the day, and said, “now I will sleep forever. Good night.”

Remus tried to fall asleep too but he really couldn’t. He was tired as all hell but his mind was fixating on every little point of his day, or more accurately, every little point of Sirius. The way his hair fell around his face as he was reading the book. The way his soft caring smile meant so much more than his bold one. The feeling of his hand in his own.

Remus wasn’t an idiot. He knew Sirius was beautiful. He knew that in some world, if things were different somehow, he would go over and ask him on a date. He would sit next to him on the couch and let their hands intertwine. He would kiss him and Sirius would kiss him back. But he didn’t live in that fantasy. Remus lived in this reality, with werewolves and bloodlines and a lot more to lose from a passing crush.

-

Remus didn’t wake up until mid-afternoon the next day. There was a cinnamon roll from breakfast and a sandwich from lunch. Next to it was a note from Sirius,

I’m practicing on the Quidditch Pitch, didn’t want to wake you - Sirius

Remus smiled a little to himself and ate the food Sirius had left him. It was a little cold but still delicious. After, he dressed and started the long walk to the Quidditch Pitch. The snow had fallen hard the night before and the lack of students had left most of it perfectly undisturbed, save for the small path magically cleared to the Pitch and Sirius’ defiant footsteps through the snow anyway.

Remus looked up at the Pitch. Sirius was flying through the air, trying out tricks that wouldn’t even be good in a game: standing on one foot, hanging from his broom from one hand, five consecutive loop de loops. _Show off_ , Remus thought to himself. But Sirius hadn’t noticed him yet and that gave Remus an idea.

Remus sprinted up to the announcer’s box and quickly cast a sonorous on his voice.

“Mr. Black races through the hoops, weaving in out like some kind of show dog” Remus narrates as his voice amplifies across the Pitch, “Maybe he thinks he is himself a quaffle. Oh, he seems to have become distracted and has stalled in the air. Maybe he’s seen a bug and lost all sense of the game, which must have been what happened last week when we lost against Ravenclaw.”

Across the Pitch, Remus saw Sirius’ shoulders shake with laughter.

“Now Mr. Black has taken to the air again. He is flying quite high, maybe he is finally going to meet that star they named after him. Oh and he’s coming back down again, quite fast mind you, and he’s heading this way, and HOLY SHIT!” Remus screamed as Sirius barreled towards him. Remus ducked under the desk and braced for impact but it never came.

Slowly, Remus emerged to the sounds of Sirius’ laughter.

“You’re feeling alright, I take it?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Remus responded, “Much better. Thanks for the food.”

“It was nothing,” Sirius shrugged, “Wanna head back in?”

“And miss your near-death acrobatics? No, thank you.”

“You could always join me,” Sirius said, extending a hand.

Remus took his outstretched hand and said with a smile, “good try,” and then tugged on Sirius so he lost balance.

Sirius’ body twisted on the broom until he was upside down. Through some quick maneuvering that Remus didn’t really understand, Sirius soared through the air and was back right side up again. Despite Remus’ many reservations towards Quidditch, he couldn’t help but admit how attractive that was. Though he would never partake himself, he could appreciate athletic prowess.

“Come on, let’s go back,” Sirius said and then went down to land. By the time Remus made it down from the stands, Sirius was waiting outside with heavy breath and hair slicked back with sweat.

“Did you have fun?” Remus asked as they began the trek back to the castle.

“Yeah. Even more when your narration started. You’re giving Murphy McNully a run for his money.”

“Oh yeah? Someone should tell McGonagall.”

“Something tells me she’d say no.”

“Nah, McGonagall loves me.”

“Well, of course she does. Everyone loves you, Moony.”

Remus glanced over to see if he was taking the piss, but no. Sirius was 100% serious, which Remus should expect at this point. As the old joke goes, he’s always serious.

-

After dinner, the two of them hung out in the dorm room. It should’ve felt weird without James and Peter there, but honestly, it didn’t. It felt safer, more sincere. There were no pranks being pulled and no good-natured teasing to be had. It was just him and Sirius, who was currently trying to get him to dance with him.

“Honestly, introducing you to that record player was the worst decision of my life,” Remus said to him.

Sirius danced slowly around the room to an Eartha Kitt Christmas record, “Oh come on, you love it just as much as I do.”

“Not possible. You love that player more than anything in this world. Honestly, sometimes I feel like I should let you have the room alone with her.”

“Oh, it’s a her now?”

“Of course, and she’s a very nice young woman, Pads. You need to put a ring on that finger or you’re gonna lose her.”

“Pfft. I’m not getting married and you know it.”

“Aw, but those third-year girls are going to be so disappointed.”

Sirius shook his head, “How many times do I gotta tell you, Moony?” Sirius leaned down to meet eye level where Remus was sitting on the bed, “I don’t give a damn about those birds.” Sirius returned to his dancing, mouthing the words ridiculously. 

_Think of all the fun I’ve missed  
Think of all the fellas that I haven’t kissed_

Reluctantly, Remus stood up and started dancing with Sirius. Sirius grabbed his hands and swung them around liberally. Occasionally, even spinning Remus, who begrudgingly obliged, (though he was secretly having the time of his life). They kept their eyes on each other with smiles on their lips. This time it was Remus who mouthed the words, 

_I really do believe in you  
Let’s see if you believe in me_

In the course of their dancing, they had gotten quite close without really realizing it, but now they were mere inches apart. Sirius was staring at Remus and Remus was staring right back. The song was reaching its end,

_Hurry down the chimney tonight  
Hurry, tonight_

Eventually, Remus couldn’t take it anymore and he stepped forward into Sirius’ space and kissed him. The kiss was slow as the song faded out and the record started to scratch, but neither could find it in them to care. Sirius’ hands came up to meet the back of Remus’ neck and rest in his hair. When the two boys finally stepped apart, Sirius kept his hands in place.

“Hey,” Sirius said with a wild grin.

“Hey,” Remus said back, equally mad.

They stared at each other for a moment as they came back down to Earth. “I should probably change the record,” Sirius said without moving.

“Yeah, you should.”

Neither of them moved. There was something so intoxicating about their embrace that escape seemed impossible. Remus leaned down and kissed him again, this time deepening the kiss and letting Sirius’ tongue wander where it wanted. Sirius kissed his mouth and then his jaw and then his neck. Remus for his part had his hands firmly under Sirus’ shirt.

When they finally broke apart, Remus actually put away the record. Though it didn’t take long for Sirius’ arms to wrap around him again.

“Come to bed with me?” Sirius whispered in his ear.

Remus nodded and let himself be pulled towards Sirius’ bed.

-

Remus woke up in the morning with his arms lying across Sirius’ chest. He couldn’t even remember falling asleep. They were up late cuddling and making out and talking about nothing in particular. He must have fallen asleep to Sirius tracing the scars across his chest and arms. He’d always been self-conscious of them, but under Sirius’ touch, they became something beautiful.

Sirius began to stir beside him and Remus took pleasure in watching him wake up. He reached out and tucked hair behind his ear because that was something he was allowed to do now.

Sirius looked over at him and smiled, “Oh good,” he said, “I was scared it was all a dream.” 

Remus kissed his hair, “If it was, I wouldn’t be mad if I meant I got to hold you for just a while.” It was more honest than Remus normally was, but at this point, what the hell. Remus already had everything he wanted.

The two of them spent the morning in bed, passing it much as they passed the night before. They finally got up to get brunch and Sirius talked to James on the mirror, (“are those hickeys, Sirius? Which bird are you snogging?” “I’m not one to kiss and tell.”) 

And that’s how they spent the rest of their break, lounging in each other’s arms, listening to Christmas records, and watching the snowfall outside. Occasionally, they would talk to James or write to Peter or Lily (James was forever jealous that Remus had Lily’s address and refused to share it). But for the most part, they spent it only with each other. and it was the happiest Christmas either Remus or Sirius could remember.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs are White Christmas by Frank Sinatra and Santa Baby by Eartha Kitt
> 
> -
> 
> here is my [tumblr](https://kriskrakel.tumblr.com/) if you want to come say hi!


	2. Year 6: Walking in a Winter Wonderland

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas Sixth Year, 1976. Christmas at the Potters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "why are you still writing your christmas fic? it's jan 28th."
> 
> christmas is a state of mind

“Must we go to the Potters for Christmas?” Remus whispered to Sirius. They were laying in Sirius’ bed a week before break was to begin. They had gotten in the habit of sharing beds during the school year. Almost every night, Remus would wait until James and Peter went to bed and he would silently creep into Sirius’ bed. In the mornings, he would go back just before sunrise. It was an imperfect system and they had almost gotten caught at least a dozen times, but they both knew it was worth it.

“Of course we have to go,” Sirius responded, “What excuse do we have not to?”

“But think of how much fun we had last year.” Remus ran his hand along Sirius’ arm. Sirius gave him a chaste kiss, but Remus moved his hand to the back of Sirius’ neck and brought him back to his lips.

After a few moments, Sirius said, “Look, the moon was last week. It’s not like I have anywhere else to go. I honestly think Mrs. Potter would be offended if I didn’t go.”

Remus made a noise of discontent and pulled away slightly from Sirius’ embrace.

“How about I make it up to you?” Sirius asked in his ear.

Remus grinned, “Alright then,” and casted muffliato.

-

As the four marauders boarded the Hogwarts Express for the winter holidays, James Potter was practically buzzing with excitement. 

“This is going to be great, lads. A fortnight of no Snivellus, no prefects, no McGonagall.”

“But Remus is a prefect,” Peter said.

“Not for the next two weeks, he’s not.”

“Hey,” Remus said, “Don’t disrespect the badge. I could take house points for that.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

As the train finally pulled away from the station, the boys settled in for the long trip back to Platform 9 and ¾. Remus, if anything, was feeling a bit dispirited. It was hard enough trying to hide their relationship at Hogwarts. It would be even harder to try to hide it at the Potters without any excuses to get away from James, especially now that he wouldn't have Lily Evans to moon over.

“Hey, James,” Remus said, “How are the sleeping arrangements going to work?”

Remus had been to the Potter house before and he couldn’t help but remark that there was only one guest bedroom. Though, he thought, it had likely been turned into Sirius’ room.

“Well, I was thinking you could bunk with either Sirius or me, but if you want, I could ask Mom to make up the couch for you.”

“No, sharing’s fine. Is it okay if I bunk with you, Sirius?” Remus said with barely contained mischief.

“I don’t mind,” Sirius said beside him. He turned and outstretched his legs to cross over Remus’ lap and rest on the windows. He often did little things like this, touches that could be played off as platonic. It drove Remus mental.

“I wish I could stay with you guys,” Peter said glumly.

“Oh, don’t be Wormtail, my boy,” Sirius said, “You’ll be the one living it up in France. The rest of us will be stuck in some backwater townhome.”

“Don’t respect our home like that,” James exclaimed. Remus couldn’t help but notice the soft look on Sirius’ face when James called it ‘our’ home. 

Remus wanted so desperately to reach out and grab his boyfriend’s hand. He so badly wanted to show his reassurance through the squeeze of his fingers or a hand on his knee. But Remus knew he couldn’t. Not here, in front of his best friends, and definitely not on a train where anyone can peer in.

-

They arrived at the platform a little while later. James and Sirius had both dashed out of the train as if their life depended on it. Peter was trailing after with his trunk wildly hitting all compartment doors as he went. Remus took his time though, stretching out his muscles that still hadn't completely recovered from the last moon. By the time he finally reached up to grab his trunk, the train was mostly empty.

"You alright?" Sirius had appeared in the doorway. He wasn't the loud rambunctious teenager he had been moments ago, but the kind sweet wizard he could only be around Remus.

"Yeah, just stretching." Remus stepped into Sirius' space, "you didn't have to come after me, you know."

Sirius checked that the coast was clear and then grabbed Remus' hand. "When are you going to understand, Moony? You're not getting rid of me."

Remus smiled, kissed their clasped hands, and then let go. He grabbed his trunk and together, they headed out to the platform.

James was talking to Peter, clearly saying his goodbyes, as the boys walked up to them.

“Have fun, Wormtail,” Remus said to him kindly.

“Yeah, cause some mischief for us,” James said.

“If you see any Black family members, tell them ‘ _ va te faire foutre _ ’ for me.”

“Do I want to know what that means?” Peter paled as he asked Sirius. From beyond them, they heard Peter’s parents call for him. “I better go, we’re on a schedule,” he said and scurried off.

Once Peter was standing firmly with his family, James turned to the other boys, “Alright lads, it’s floo powder time.”

The three of them each grabbed a handful of the green powder and waited in line for the fireplaces. From in front of Remus, Sirius turned around and gave a smile, “Are you excited, Moony?”

“I’m sure it’ll be fun.” Remus glanced around, the platform was emptying out and no one was paying them a bit of attention. Remus very quickly grabbed Sirius' hand and squeezed it. “Plus, you’ll be there the whole time,” he said and dropped his hand. 

“Will you two stop messing about and pay attention,” James interrupted them. The line had moved, though only by a person or two, James was just dreadfully impatient.

After a breif trip through the Floo Network, the three boys came stumbling out into the Potter's living room. As Remus look around, it was like a Christmas dream. There were candles in the windows, a Christmas tree beside the fireplace, and a smell of fresh-baked cookies in the air. 

“Wow,” Remus breathed.

“Yeah,” Sirius said quietly beside him, “Mrs. Potter’s kindness never grows old.”

James was already in the kitchen, eating cookies and chatting with his mom. They had a house-elf who was more than willing to do the cooking, but Euphemia Potter preferred to do it herself.

“Guys, get in here,” James yelled from the kitchen.

“Actually, I’m thinking we were going to go unpack,” Sirius shouted back. He winked at Remus as he said it.

“We have a house-elf for that!” James replied.

Sirius groaned quietly and mouthed ‘sorry,’ to Remus. Remus just rolled his eyes goodnaturedly. “It was worth a try,” he whispered.

Euphemia was an absolutely wonderful host, which was to be expected. She doted on James and Sirius and was constantly checking in with Remus, (Was he eating enough? How was he doing in his studies? Are there any books he needed?) 

As much as he was enjoying it - talking with Euphemia and playing games with James - he was getting restless as the day wore on and he could tell Sirius was too. They hadn’t been alone all day, nor had they had time together in the daylight for at least a week with exams and Christmas celebrations. He kept catching Sirius looking at him and Sirius often made more grand and ridiculous excuses as to why he needed to sit next to Remus or touch Remus in some way.

It was getting so ridiculous that even James was starting to notice. They were all in the living room as the house-elf brought out the Christmas ornaments.

“I don’t understand why you don’t just have your house-elf decorate,” Sirius said as James pounced on the box of shiny red balls.

“It’s about family bonding and getting in the Christmas spirit, Pads!” he replied as he opened another box, this one full of candles.

“My mother was never much for Christmas spirit,” there was an unsaid ‘or family bonding.’ Sirius continued, “I think were it not for the annual Black Christmas party, I’m not sure we would’ve decorated at all. But at some point, it became a competition between her and the Malfoys about who had the most immaculate decorations. The Pureblood families took bets and everything.”

“A party of Purebloods? Sounds like a great time,” Remus said sarcastically as he opened a box of beads.

“My parents went to those when they were growing up,” James said. “Needless to say that stopped when they got their own home.”

James opened a box of candles, “Light these will you, Moony? You’re great at charms.”

“Where are these supposed to go?”

“On the tree, where else?” James responded as he began streaming beads through the branches.

“You put on-fire candles inside a Christmas tree? That sounds like a one-way ticket to have your house burn down.”

“How do muggles do it then?”

“We have these tiny electric lights that we string up.”

“That makes no sense,” James replied.

“Let me charm them,” Sirius said from beside Remus, “You put on the ornaments.”

Remus gave him a smile which Sirius returned easily. No matter how many times he saw it, Remus never grew tired of it. He thought that he could look at Sirius’ smiling face forever.

The three boys worked their way around the tree. Sirius charming candles while James and Remus hang ornaments. It was meticulous work and just the kind of thing Remus loved. After charming the candles, Sirius floated them into the trees. Though he could do this from any distance he decided to work close to the tree, often brushing shoulders with Remus, which always earned him a quiet smile.

“Mate,” James said as he looked up, “give Remus some space.”

“Right, sorry,” Sirius mumbled. Remus was trying desperately not to laugh.

Later that evening, James brought it up again when he and Remus were playing a game of chess. Sirius was absorbed in a conversation with Euphemia in the kitchen, but even so, James spoke quietly.

“I don’t know why he’s always doing that to you, Moony,” James said. 

“Doing what?” Remus said as he captured James’ rook.

“Getting all up in your space.”

“Oh, I don’t mind much.”

“Maybe it’s something to do with his parents. Should I bring it up with him?”

“No,” Remus said a little too quickly, “I’ll talk to him tonight. Don’t worry.”

-

By the time Remus and Sirius were finally alone, they weren’t doing much talking. It had been a long day of Christmas decorating and dinner and then dessert and then family time all in the living room. Sirius clearly wanted to be alone but he was never good at situations like this. In the Black household, one always asked to be excused.

Finally, Remus let out a yawn. Sirius glanced up at him, “Tired, Remus?”

“Yeah. I think I might head up to bed,” he said, which was true, but he had no intention of going to sleep anytime soon.

“I guess it is getting pretty late,” James said. He got up and kissed his mother’s cheek in goodnight. 

“Goodnight boys,” Euphemia said as she waved at them and then went back to looking out the window. Her husband was away on some work thing she’d been really quiet about. Remus couldn't fathom what kind of hair care event would take place over the holidays, but it was clear when he asked, that Euphemia did not want to talk about it.

The boys climbed the stairs and bid goodbye to James before entering Sirius’ bedroom. The moment the door had closed, Sirius pushed Remus up against it and kissed him senseless.

“I’ve been wanting to do that all day,” he breathed and then, pushed him away and started rooting through his trunk.

“I noticed,” Remus responded, “I think even James noticed.”

Sirius' head shot up to meet Remus’ expression, “What?”

“He doesn’t suspect anything, don't worry. He just mentioned that you seemed to always be invading my personal space.”

Sirius crossed over to Remus and stood very close to him, “Is that so, Mr. Lupin?” Remus could feel his breath on his lips.

“I think it is, Mr. Black,” Remus said and leaned down to kiss him. It was supposed to be light, but the kiss quickly turned hot and reckless as hands traveled under shirts and through hair. Eventually, Remus grew impatient with even that and pushed Sirius onto the bed.

“Someone’s bossy,” Sirius quipped. 

Remus didn’t even give him a chance to respond, just took off his shirt and then kissed Sirius hard, “shut up.”

Sirius cast a quick muffliato and pulled Remus down to him. It was like how it had been Hogwarts except infinitely better because they were completely alone. As they laid in each other’s arms later that night, Sirius finally voiced what he had been thinking all evening, “what do you think James would do if he knew?”

“I don’t know, Pads,” Remus said sleepily, “I don’t think he’d mind.”

“But remember that joke he made in third year?”

“You’re gonna have to be a little more specific than that.”

“The one about not wanting to wear dress robes because he didn’t want to look queer.”

“I don’t remember that, Pads, because that was three fucking years ago.”

“Still…”

“Still, nothing. We’re all a lot different than our thirteen-year-old selves,” Remus said this as he traced the muscles in Sirius’ arms. “We could just tell him, you know. Get it all over with.”

Sirius let out a long breath, “I don’t know, Moony. It doesn’t seem like a good idea.”

“Why not? James is our mate. If me being a werewolf didn’t change that, I highly doubt this will.”

Sirius remained silent for a while and then said, “I already lost one family. I can’t lose another.”

Remus just tightened his grip around Sirius and then kissed his forehead. “Okay, Pads. Whatever you need.”

-

In the morning, there was an owl for Remus. It came much too early and had no problem waking Remus and Sirius up by incessantly tapping on the window. Begrudgingly, Remus untangled himself from Sirius and opened the window.

“Who the fuck is sending you letters at this hour?” Sirius asked from the bed, one hand over his eyes to block out the morning sun.

“Lily Evans,” Remus replied as he sat back down next to Sirius.

“Don’t tell James. He’ll kill you out of jealousy.”

Remus opened the letter as Sirius tried to get back to sleep by snuggling up to Remus’ warm body. Remus absentmindedly played with Sirius’ hair as he read.

_ Remus, _

_ I hope you’re having a lovely holiday. Petunia brought her boyfriend around for Christmas and the whole thing is absolutely dreadful. All he talks about is his job and how Petunia is a great cook and homemaker and how she will make a great mother someday. I mentioned that Petunia was a brilliant woman in her own right and her boyfriend just stared at me like I was speaking Latin! He’s a misogynist, no doubt, but Petunia likes him. I’m trying to be nice but it is killing me. _

_ How is Christmas at the Potters? I was wondering if I could come to visit later? It would be nice to see you and get out of this house. (I’ve also never been in a fully magical house before. I've heard the Potter's house is huge. Is that true?) _

_ Much love, _

_ Lily _

“What’d she say?” Sirius mumbled into Remus’ shoulder.

“She wants to come visit me here.”

Sirius started to wake up with that one, “She wants to enter the home of James Potter? She hates Prongs!”

“No, she doesn’t. They’re friends now. Sometimes they even study together.”

“Studying is one thing. Visiting his home during the Christmas holidays is another.”

“Awww, is someone jealous?”

Sirius rolled his eyes, “You wish.”

They heard footsteps outside their door and then James' voice came through, “Are you two awake yet?” The doorknob rattled but thankfully remained locked. Sirius and Remus looked at each other with panicked expressions. Remus quickly threw a sweater and some pants on and Sirius just hid under the covers as Remus opened the door.

“Why is your door locked?” James asked as Remus cracked it open. 

“No reason. Just habit, I guess.”

James simply nodded. “Well, our house elf is making breakfast if you want some.”

“Yeah, sure. I’ll just wake Sirius up.”

“He’s still not awake? I can just jump on top of him for you. It always works for me.”

“No, that’s alright,” Remus said a little too quickly which caused James to give him a look, “He had a nightmare last night," Remus whispered, "He needs his rest.”

James’ face immediately turned sympathetic. “Of course. Come down when you’re ready.” 

As soon as the door was closed, Sirius sat up and gave Remus a withering look, “A nightmare?”

“What was I supposed to say? Don’t come in, he’s ass naked?”

“Better than making me sound like a child.”

“You’ll live. Come on, I don’t want to miss breakfast.”

Remus heard Sirius mutter “bossy” as he got dressed. Remus put on proper clothes and joined James in the kitchen.

Downstairs, James was some toast and staring intently out the window. “I think it will be a great day for Quidditch,” he said to Remus.

“It’s cold as hell already. You want to go out flying in this weather?”

“Come on, Moony. It’s not that bad. Won’t you come play Quidditch with us, just this once?”

“Lay off him, Prongs,” Sirius said as he walked into the kitchen, “I’ve been trying to get him to play with us for years. I highly doubt a cold winter day will change his mind.”

“You’ll still play with me though, right?” James asked.

“Of course. We can let Moony here chat with Evans while we fly.”

James looked up with wide eyes at Remus and Sirius, “What are you talking about?”

“Moony got an owl from Evans this morning asking if she could come over.”

“Well what did you say?”

“I haven’t replied yet. I figured I should ask you.”

“Why wasn’t that the first thing out of your mouth this morning?” James asked frantically. “Write to her right now. Tell her to come as soon as she wants.”

“Shouldn’t you ask your mom first?”

James walked over to Remus and placed both hands on his shoulders, “Remus John Lupin, the love of my life just asked if she could come over. I don’t care if the Minister of Magic himself forbids it. Lily Evans is coming over today.”

“Okay, okay, I’ll write her back. Where’s a quill?”

Once Remus had sent out the letter, (James read it over three times before he gave the OK to send it), James and Sirius went out to play Quidditch in the backyard. Remus did some reading for a bit until the Knight Bus turned up on the Potter’s street and a familiar head of red hair came knocking on the door.

Remus opened it with a smile and embraced her tightly. “Happy Christmas, Lily.”

“Happy Christmas, Remus.” As they walked in, Lily looked around the house with a kind of awe. Candles were floating, furniture was dusted by a levitating duster, and a house elf had appeared beside the entryway.

“May Gelly take the red-haired mistress’ coat, ma’am?” the house elf asked Lily. Lily looked to Remus and then back down to Gelly the house elf. She had never seen a house elf outside of Hogwarts before. She took off her coat and crouched down so she could hand it to Gelly on eye-level.

“Thank you, Miss Gelly,” Lily said. 

The house elf smiled wide, “You are very kind ma’am,” Gelly said and then disappeared with a crack.

It was just then that the back door opened and bringing with it a gust of cold air and two boys sweaty from Quidditch. “Hey, Moony,” James called loudly as he got some water from the kitchen, “has Evans arrived yet?”

Remus watched as a blush crossed Lily’s face and then James turned around, saw Lily, and froze.

“Um, hello Evans,” he stuttered and started walking towards the entrance way. Sirius was trailing behind him, a smirk on his face.

“Hello Potter,” she replied coolly.

Sirius stood next to Remus and swung a sweaty arm around his shoulders, “You’d think that being in his home would put them on a first name basis, huh Moony?” Sirius mock-whispered though everyone could hear.

Remus pushed Sirius’ arm off of him, “Ugh, don’t get your stink on me. You need a shower, both of you.”

Sirius laughed as Remus shoved him off towards the stairs. He thought James would follow, but James remained frozen in the entryway, staring at Lily. Sirius realized James wasn’t behind and came back down, grabbed James’ hand and half dragged him up the stairs.

“See you in a bit, Evans,” Sirius called from upstairs. 

“Sorry about James,” Remus said to Lily, “He’s kind of madly in love with you.”

Lily blushed, “Did he not know I was coming?”

“No, he knew. He’s just like this. Would you like some tea?”

“Sure.”

Remus led Lily to the kitchen, though they often paused beside each of the moving photographs or enchanted objects the Potters had in their houses. There were many cute photos of James as a toddler, smiling and causing havoc. There was one of a six-year-old James who made his toys float and crash into each other.

“I wish my parents had photos like these,” Lily said.

“My dad has one from when I did my first bit of accidental magic. I floated bubbles made of tea all around the kitchen,” Remus said fondly.

“What must it be like to grow up always knowing you’ll go to Hogwarts and that you’ll be a magician?”

“I wouldn’t know,” Remus said quietly. Lily turned to him and gave him a quizzical look. “My parents didn’t think they’d let me in given my furry little problem.”

Lily smiled and put a hand on Remus’ arm, “Well, I’m glad we both went. Hogwarts would’ve missed out on an amazing wizard.”

“And an amazing witch,” Remus smiled back.

“Watch out, Prongs,” Sirius’ voice rang out from the end of the hallway, “Moony’s trying to steal your woman.”

Lily dropped her arm and James’ face turned bright red. Both him and Sirius had dripping wet hair and were wearing muggle clothes. Sirius had on his signature tight ripped black jeans and white t-shirt while James was wearing a sweater and loose blue jeans. Remus couldn’t help but stare at Sirius. He always looked so good in muggle clothes.

“Don’t worry, Black,” Lily said to the pair of them as they met in the hall, “I’m not going to steal your boyfriend.” At this, Sirius shot Remus a sharp look, but Lily continued, “I didn’t know you owned muggle clothes, Potter. You look nice.”

“Oh, thank you,” he said sheepishly, “Remus showed us some stores in town. You look nice in muggle clothes too.”

Lily smiled at him and then down at the floor. James looked to Sirius like he had just won a medal. Remus could sense that they were not going to get much of a conversation out of the two of them.

“James, I was just going to get some tea for Lily,” Remus said.

“Right, follow me,” James said and led them into the kitchen. 

It was a very strange lunch. James couldn’t stop looking at awe at Lily. Lily only really said anything to Remus, who was carrying the brunt of the conversation. Sirius just silently smirked the whole time, ever since Lily chose to sit next to James. 

“So what do you guys do for fun around here?” Lily said after they finished their tea.

“Quidditch,” James and Sirius said at the same time, prompting Lily to roll her eyes.

“What do  _ you _ do for fun around here, Remus?” she asked.

“Read books, play Wizard’s chess.”

“Boring,” Sirius muttered under his breath.

Lily smiled wide, “That sounds lovely, Remus. Do you have any books I could borrow?”

“Actually,” James cut in, “I can show you to the library if you want?”

“You have your own library?”

James’ cheeks turned red as he started to stutter out some excuse, but Sirius cut him off, “It’s really quite impressive, Evans. You should have a look.”

“Alright then, Potter,” Lily said as she stood, “show me the way.” James simply nodded and started walking out of the room with Lily not far behind.

As soon as they were out of earshot, Sirius turned to Remus with a slow smile. “How long do you think they’ll be gone?”

Remus placed his arms around Sirius’ neck and leaned in close to his ear, “not long enough,” and then lightly pushed Sirius away.

“Ugh,” Sirius complained, “you’re such a tease, Remus Lupin.” Sirius leaned in and gave Remus a soft kiss before leaning back in his chair. 

Remus took Sirius’ hand and started playing with his rings. “How do you think they’re doing?”

“Oh, James is dying from nerves. Did you see his face when he first saw Evans? It’s like that muggle phrase - stag in the streetlights.”

Remus chuckled, “a deer in the headlights.”

Sirius looked at him and smiled, “You’re the brightest of us all, Moony.” Sirius pulled their hands up to his face and kissed their intertwined fingers. Remus felt his face heat up in blush.

“I think Lily likes him.”

“You’re lying.”

“I’m not,” Remus said smugly.

“She told you?”

“No, of course not. She didn’t have to.”

Sirius tilted his head in confusion.

“Look, Lily loves me, and sure, we’ll meet up in the summers, but we’ll see each other again in a week or two anyway. Plus, it’s not like she’s spending her time with me, is she?”

“She talked to you the entirety of lunch.”

“Only because James was too scared to actually say anything.”

“He’s hopeless, that one.”

“I’m not so sure,” Remus said. “Think about it like this: For the first five years of Hogwarts, Lily barely even glanced Prongs’ way. Now? Lily doesn’t roll her eyes if they get partnered in class. She actually cheers at Prongs’ quidditch games. They’ve even started doing their homework together in their common room, and you know she doesn’t need extra help.”

“Holy shit…”

“Yeah.”

“Prongsie might actually have a chance.”

“If he can pull his shit together and actually act normal around her, maybe.”

“How’d you get so good at this relationship stuff, Moony?” Sirius asked with a rue smile.

“I’ve had a bit of experience with having a crush.”

“Aww,” Sirius leaned in and gave Remus a light kiss.

Remus pulled away slightly and whispered into the air between them, “never said it was you.”

Sirius pushed him away and roared with laughter, “You’re a bastard, Remus, you know that?”

“What’s Remus done this time?” Lily said as she entered the doorway. Sirius looked at Remus quickly, but Remus shook his head slightly. She hadn’t seen.

“Do I ever really do anything?” Remus said as he stood up next to Lily.

“Don’t be fooled by his bookish demeanor,” James said as he entered the room, “Remus is as much of a troublemaker as the rest of us.”

“What’d you think of the library, Evans?” Sirius asked.

Lily’s eyes lit up, “It was just beautiful. Some of the most interesting titles I’ve ever seen. And there’s so many little enchantments everywhere. Have you seen the children’s books, Remus? They move just like photographs. It’s mesmerizing.”

“Oh, of course. I love them. Whenever I'm at the Potters, I always spend hours in the library. I’ve got to do something to occupy my mind with these two idiots around me.”

“Hey!” Sirius called out, “I’ll have you know Potter and I have some of the best marks in our year.”

“Whatever you say, Black. We all know I outrank you,” Lily said with a smile and then turned to walk into the living room.

Remus followed her, but he didn’t miss when Sirius whispered to James, “You’re doing great, Prongsie. I think you might’ve actually impressed her.”

The afternoon was spent lounging around in the living room with snacks periodically delivered from the Potter’s house elf. James and Sirius took this opportunity to act out the Marauder’s greatest pranks for Lily, with the occasional sarcastic remark thrown in from Remus. James was halfway through the story of how they made all the Slytherin dorm doors disappear when Lily interrupted. 

“Wait, that was you guys? You were third years. No way you knew those spells. No one could figure out where the doors even went.”

“What can I say, Evans? We’re good,” Sirius smirked.

"And Remus here taught us to use muggle tools," James corrected. "That, combined with levitation charms, you can do anything."

"That's something Moony taught us in first year. Hogwarts is only prepared for magical pranks. If you throw in a bit of muggle fun, nothing will stop you."

Lily looked at them, half impressed, “So where are the doors?”

“Yes, Prongs,” Sirius inquired, “where are the Slytherin’s darling doors?”

James grinned, “I’m sure the mermaids in the Great Lake are making houses out of them as we speak.”

“No!” Lily exclaimed as she burst out laughing. “God, remind me never to go around the Great Lake around you two.”

“Oh no. Not just us,” James said, “Don’t exclude Moony from that.”

“You didn’t!”

Remus just shrugged, “I’m against mermaid homelessness.”

Sirius broke down laughing and collapsed on to the couch next to Remus. He laid his head, however briefly, on Remus’ shoulder. It was light and barely noticeable, but Remus looked over at Sirius with a small smile, only to see it mirrored in the other boy's face. 

Remus would do anything to reach over and grab Sirius’ hand. That was always the hardest part. He didn’t need to shout their love from the rooftops, but when they sat next to each other like this in the company of friends, almost touching, it was the farthest apart he ever felt.

James sat down on the couch opposite of them, next to Lily, though a respectful distance away. After six long years of rejections, James had all but given up on outlandishly wooing Lily. As he proclaimed in their room one night, “if I can’t have her as my wife, I will at least have her as my friend.” So far, it’s been James’ best tactic yet.

“Okay,” Lily said, looking between the three of them, “I have one question that has bothered me for years. What is with the animal names?”

Remus had never seen James look more panicked. “Oh, I don’t know really,” James stumbled, “it was some old joke. I can’t even remember it now.”

Sirius jumped on this explanation, “Yeah, it’s just one of the Marauder’s mysteries that even we don’t know the answer to.”

“You two just told me the intimate details of pranks you pulled off in first year. You really expect me to believe you don’t know the origins of the nicknames you call each other constantly?”

“I don’t know what to tell you, Evans,” James said.

“We just don’t remember,” Sirius said, almost agitated.

Lily was looking between them with even more suspicion than before. Remus could’ve watched the two boys squirm under her gaze for longer, but he was scared Sirius would sooner go to blows than tell Lily.

Remus let out a breath and spoke up, “They all became unregistered animagi to be with me on my transformations.”

James and Sirius both looked at Remus with wide eyes. He'd forgotten to tell them that Lily was aware of his furry little problem. 

Lily, on the other hand, simply said, “You’re joking.”

“I’m not. The wolf doesn't hurt animals.”

“You expect me to believe that these two idiots, who don’t care about anything beyond a moment's fun -”

“Hey!” Sirius interrupted her, but Lily continued.

“You want me to believe they spent months, researching and learning one of the most complex spells and potions just for what? To spend one more night with you every month? I love you, Remus, but that’s the biggest joke I’ve ever heard.”

“It’s true,” Sirius said.

Lily laughed, “Yeah, sure, Black.”

“Lily,” Potter said in his characteristic ‘this-is-serious’ voice, “you can’t tell anyone.”

“I don’t even believe you!”

“That’s okay. You don’t have believe us,” James gently took Lily’s hand so she’d pay attention, “But you can’t say anything. What we did was highly illegal. This isn’t a prank. This isn’t a joke. This matters. We’re trusting you, even if you don’t believe us, we’re trusting you.”

“Holy shit,” Lily whispered, “you’re being completely serious.”

Just as Remus started to mumble,  _ don’t do it, don’t do it, _ Sirius burst into a grin, “I thought I was Sirius.” Remus let out a massive groan.

“Sorry. Should’ve chosen better words.”

“You’d think after 6 years, he would stop finding it funny.” James still hadn’t let go of Lily’s hand.

“Okay,” Lily said after a moment, “I won’t tell anyone.” James let out an audible sigh of relief. “But,” Lily continued, “I want to see you two do it.”

James started to say, “I don’t know if we -” but Sirius had already transformed into Padfoot and was running circles around the coffee table.

“Ohmygod!” Lily exclaimed, “He’s a fucking dog!”

Padfoot jumped up on the couch and sat himself next to Lily. He extended his paw to her, as if he wanted a handshake.

“Lily meet Padfoot. Padfoot, be nice,” Remus said from his couch.

“Hello, Padfoot.” Lily looked up at Remus, “Can I pet him or… ?”

“Oh, yeah. He loves it.”

Lily started scratching behind Padfoot’s ears and he was clearly having the time of his life, head raised and a silent smile. Even as Padfoot, Remus could read Sirius like a book.

“So what are you, then?” Lily asked James.

“Oh, it’s not really an indoor animal.”

“Since when are you shy about it?” Remus asked. “It’s not as if you turn into Prongs once a week to freak the shit out of us.”

“Okay, okay,” James surrendered and stood up in the middle of the room. He pushed some furniture away and transformed himself into Prongs.

Lily just froze there, hand over her mouth, as she stared at the massive deer now inhabiting the living room. She looked at Remus, who just smiled and nodded his head.

“Took them three years to do that. James was rather proud of himself for that one.”

“They studied for three years? Just for you?” Lily stood up, directing Padfoot to cuddle up into Remus’ lap. Lily held her hand up to Prongs and very gently started petting its fur. “I feel like I have no idea who you people are anymore.”

“Oh, they’re the same assholes as before,” Remus said to her, “but if you’re really lucky. They’ll be your assholes.”

-

After that, all afternoon, Lily couldn’t stop seeing all the little ways they cared for each other. The way the Potter family photographs all had Sirius under Mrs. Potter’s caring arm. How Sirius gave up the softest chair so that Remus’ hip wouldn’t hurt. How Remus read over James’ essays and double-checked all his charms work. The more she saw, the more she wondered how she hadn’t seen it before. They were a family, the whole lot of them, and something in her wanted to be a part of that family as well.

When she pointed this all out to Remus, he let out a little laugh, “Well, Lils, there’s a very easy way in.”

Lily just raised her eyebrows.

“James is crazy about you. You know I’ve never really approved of his tactics, but he really is a good guy. You could always give him a chance.”

Remus expected a refusal or the outright disgust she usually expressed at the mere mention of dating Potter (even if they had been spending a lot more time together), but instead Lily just smiled, “Yeah, okay. Maybe I will.”

-

After a pleasant dinner with the Potters - one in which Euphemia couldn’t stop gushing over Lily’s many accomplishments - they spent the evening lounging in James’ frankly disgustingly huge bedroom. Sirius had put on a Christmas record and James had pushed out all the furniture to clear a space to dance.

From the stereo, Bobby Helms’ voice filled the room.

_ Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock _

_ Jingle bells swing and jingle bells ring _

James and Sirius danced around the room, hands clasped together as they pulled each other one way and another. It was not graceful, mostly jumping and exaggerated turns, but it was also filled with raucous  laughter and smiles. That Sirius Black smile. Remus couldn’t help the smile stretched across his face as he watched them.

“You two are cute,” Lily whispered to Remus. He stilled beside her.

“What are you talking about?” Remus whispered, willing his voice to stay even.

Lily leveled her gaze at him, “Come on. The way you look at him. The way he looks at you. I’ve never seen two people more in love.”

“Is it really that obvious?” Remus asked, glancing to where James and Sirius were dancing completely oblivious to the conversation around them.

“Only if you’re paying attention,” Lily whispered back. “Does James know?”

Remus shook his head, “No. It’s Sirius. He’s…” Remus glanced at how carefree Sirius looked dancing with James. They were brothers, no question about it. Sirius caught him staring and sent a wink his way. Remus just blushed in response. “He’s scared. He doesn’t want to lose the Potters.”

“Oh,” Lily responded, “that’s terrible, that you two even have to consider it.”

Remus just shrugged. It was life. He felt lucky to have Sirius at all.

“I highly doubt they’d be anything but supportive," Lily said. "I mean, they love Sirius, even more than James it seems.”

“Oh, it’s James now? Not Potter?” Remus smirked. Lily laughed and shoved him.

“Oi, Evans!” Sirius shouted, “Don’t go hurting our Moony.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, Black.”

The record continued playing but Sirius had collapsed onto the bed next to Remus. James took this opportunity to offer his hand to Lily, “Care for a dance, Evans?”

Lily smiled, “What kind of lady could turn down such a nice offer.” She stood up, taking James’ hand in hers. On the makeshift dance floor, they danced wildly and quite a bit closer than James and Sirius had. They had grown comfortable with one another, anyone could see it.

_ What a bright time, it's the right time _

_ To rock the night away _

“They look nice together,” Remus said to Sirius, too quiet for James and Lily to hear.

“Yes. I think things might be looking up for old Prongsie.”

They sat next to each other, the back of their hands touching, but nothing more. Nothing that couldn’t be passed off as accidental. It killed Remus. In front of him, his two best friends were falling in love, and he couldn’t even look at Sirius too long without raising suspicion.

“I wish we could be like that,” he whispered to Sirius.

“I know, Moony. I know.”

For just the briefest moment, Sirius grabbed Remus’ hand, squeezed it, and then let go. Standing up, Sirius went to go up and change the record.

“Won’t you dance with us, Remus?” Lily asked.

“I’m very comfortable on the bed, Lils.”

“Please, Remus. For me?” Lily walked over to the bed and grabbed Remus’ hands, effectively pulling him up.

Remus rolled his eyes affectionately as he joined Lily on the makeshift dance floor. He held her close in his arms as they swayed to the music.

_ A beautiful sight _

_ We're happy tonight _

_ Walking in a winter wonderland _

To an outsider, they could be seen as lovers, but in this world they knew where they stood. For six years, it felt like them against the pureblood world. As long as they were together, they knew they could make it through. Remus didn’t believe in soulmates, but if he did, he knew Lily Evans was his.

“Give Potter a chance, eh Moony?” Sirius called. Remus laughed and pushed Lily towards James, who was blushing profusely. James and Lily began their own slow dance and Remus walked over to Sirius, a hand held out.

Sirius glanced around and raised an eyebrow, a silent question on his face.

“Come on, Padfoot. It’s Christmas.”

“Well, in the words of one Lily Evans, ‘What kind of lady could turn down such a nice offer?’”

Remus laughed and pulled Sirius in by the hand and for once, Sirius didn’t let go.

_ Here to stay is a new bird _

_ He sings a love song, as we go along _

_ Walking in a winter wonderland _

“Hey,” James called from over Lily’s shoulder, “What are you two doing?”

Remus looked at Sirius, who in turn looked at Remus, terrified. Remus squeezed his hand.

“Hush,” Lily said gently to James, “Leave them alone.”

James shot them a quizzical look but seemed content to return to his dancing with Lily had Sirius not spoken up.

“Well,” he started, uncertain. James just kept his gaze steady on Sirius, “I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while now, but Remus and I are together.”

James dropped his arms from around Lily, “What does that mean? Together?”

“We’re dating, James,” Remus said, his voice strong.

“Really?” James said, his face in disbelief. He was looking only at Sirius.

“Yeah,” Sirius replied softly, “for a year now.”

James’ face broke out into a wide smile. He walked over and engulfed Sirius in a hug. “That’s wonderful, mate. I’m so happy for you.” James turned to Remus, bringing him into the hug, “You two, Moony.”

“Thanks, James,” Remus responded.

Once James had let them go, Sirius grabbed Remus’ hand and held it like it was the only thing keeping him on this Earth. 

“So you’re not…” Sirius started and then trailed off. “You’re not mad?”

“Mad? Of course not! I’m bloody ecstatic. The Sirius Orion Black has finally settled down and with someone we all like! This is a date for celebration!”

Sirius laughed and then gave James another hug and then turned to Remus. He grabbed his hand and gave it a small kiss. Remus broke out into a grin. 

“Come here,” Remus whispered and pulled him into a slow dance. When he glanced over his shoulder, he saw that Lily and James were holding each other quite close as well.

_ As we dream by the fire _

_ To face unafraid, the plans that we've made _

_ Walking in a winter wonderland _

Remus had never been happier. He could imagine the Christmases for years after this. Holiday parties at the Potters. Enchanted decorations and gag gifts. Dancing and laughing as a small army of Evans/Potter children wreak havoc. If it could be like this forever, Remus knew he would never feel alone again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dear god why is this so long. anyway, remus and lily are besties, confirmed.
> 
> "va te faire foutre" means kiss my ass, or so google translate tells me.
> 
> -
> 
> here is my [tumblr](https://kriskrakel.tumblr.com/) if you want to come say hi!


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